Okay, so I just watched The Laramie Project for a Wellness credit (I need 30 WCs to graduate from my school) and I need to get some of these thoughts out. Warning: Long, rambling, angsty monologue coming up.

How the hell can people be so hateful? I mean, come the frak on, it's not like Matthew was really hurting anyone, was he? And these guys just beat him and left him tied onto a fence to die. I can't... I can't believe that people can do things like that to other humans, but it happens all the time. And I get upset about it whenever I hear of it. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I want to be a lawyer, I dunno what type yet, but it's inevitable that I'll have to deal with something like this. And I'm scared of it.

Emotion can be a great weapon when dealing with a jury, when trying to win people over to your side. It can also hinder your progress, if it's too forceful. Eventually, sure, I could become desensitized to this, but in a way, I don't want to. See, I know that my being able ot feel so extremely and passionately is a good thing. It's a strength, a virtue. Intense pain and sadness can only make the joys that I find all the better, right? But I've wanted to be a lawyer, ever since I was ten, and if I can't come to bear with this, I don't know what I'll do.

At the same time, I'm so moved by how kind people can be. The Catholic priest in the movie, who was praying for Matthew, and said that he was the one person that had done the most for the community, even though he was gay... That made me feel so happy. It means that not everyone is narrow-minded. Then there's that stupid reverend, who spoke so coldly.

Then, there's that group that came and were protesting at the funeral and the trials. Really? Really, now? Someone just DIED, people are GRIEVING, this city that's never had much attention is swarmed by the media, and you want to INSULT the memory of a normal kid by saying he's going to hell for one choice? What is WRONG with you? I want to punch each of those people in the face (just once), and then give a hug to Angels of Action that blocked them out.

Finally, there's the statement that Mr. Shepard (sp?) made at the second trial. It touched me, so, so deeply. Because I know, be it accident or purposely, if anything ever happened to me, my dad would never have said something about there being a possibility other than the ddeath penalty for them. That he could say that he respected his son's views so much...

Yeah, sorry. I just had to get this out somewhere, where only two other people know who I am IRL, and neither of them will tell my parents.